It was an excellent night tonight. Sometimes I just need a reminder of the things that made me the person I am today. I played in a band for the entire time while I grew up. I still have some growing to do even though I like to think I am fully grown. So whenever I get a chance to play a good show its awesome to be reminded of good times with old and new friends. I think if I was never in a band I would probably have no sense of having a budget or trying to eat healthy or knowing anything about music. I think it is about time to re-evaluate myself. I am 19 years old. I go to college. I am moving to chicago in one week to live by myself for the first time. I still have 4 tattoos. I own and run a clothing company with one of my best friends. I own and run an entertainment company with another one of my best friends. I have been working my ass off to make money not working at a walgreens. I am single as hell. I have started reading books again. I am really starting to become more introspective. I wish I had a better relationship with my mother. I wish I had a better relationship with my father. I feel like I have been fighting their love since I was 9 and haven’t let them in since.
My sister and I are becoming more close. And I look down on people far to often. I’ve broken far too many hearts in the past year and I should probably apologize sometime soon. We actually played with Chase Coy tonight. I don’t know if it was his song or not but there is a great line in it. That goes: “Every relationship that I’ve ever been in has fallen apart at the seams. I’m just afraid I’ve been singing about love but ill never know what it means” And its true. I’ve had one serious loving relationship with a girl who is absolutely amazing and I should treat her better than I do now. I think it just takes being in a position where you need to check yourself to see what is really going on in life. Bottom line, I love my life. And I would love to make it better. Fame, fortune, healthy relationships I’m not quite sure what it takes but I hope to find it soon. Happiness is very key to what I need right now. I’m happy, but you can always be happier.